


Aquamarine

by fallacyofwhat



Series: exo one/twoshots [3]
Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Actors, Crack, Fishing, Gen, Law Enforcement, M/M, Swearing, fishermen, not really tho
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-26
Updated: 2020-09-26
Packaged: 2021-03-07 17:06:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,005
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26661145
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fallacyofwhat/pseuds/fallacyofwhat
Summary: Someone took their parking spot and neither Kris nor Kyungsoo are happy about that, especially after their first run-in with the owner of the car.
Relationships: Do Kyungsoo | D.O/Huang Zi Tao | Z.Tao, Do Kyungsoo | D.O/Wu Yi Fan | Kris, Huang Zi Tao | Z.Tao/Wu Yi Fan | Kris
Series: exo one/twoshots [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1536391
Comments: 3
Kudos: 7





	Aquamarine

**Author's Note:**

> Based on this [news article](https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-8700725/amp/Angry-locals-leave-stinking-dead-fish-rudely-parked-120-000-Aston-Martin-V8-Vantage.html) from the Daily Mail from September 05, 2020. I needed to write something like for once, but I'm honest, I'm not super happy with it, I could've easily tunred it into something more complex with way too much chapters. I hope you enjoy nonetheless.
> 
> //betaed by the wonderful [SgtPepper007](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SgtPepper007/pseuds/SgtPepper007) <3

It was still dark outside, when Kris’ phone vibrated, indicating an incoming call during the wee hours before twilight. Besides that, only one group of people would call around this time anyway. “Some asshole is parking on our spot.” No hello, no greeting, nothing. His friend was carpooling this morning with two co-workers and someone took their designated parking spot that explicitly stated _‘For fishermen only – The city council’_. Everyone in town knew that, even outsiders—usually. Sure, the sign had faded over the years, it already was when Kris started working at the company, but it was clear as day. It should be, shouldn’t it?

“Call the city council for a ticket, Kyungsoo,” Kris advised when he sat down on his moped. He was doing a detour before heading for the quay.

“It’s four o’fuckery, I’m not going to call anyone besides you. I’ll just wait until we’re finished with our shift.”

“Benefit o’doubt?” Kris chuckled in the receiver while sitting on his seat, his helmet nestled between his thighs for the moment.

“No, it’s an Aston Martin, either stolen or from a bratty fucktard with no means of social norms. I just woke up on the right side of the bed this mornin’ and had a great shite, thanks for asking. Ah, and ye left me alone this morning.” Kris rolled his eyes at his friend’s misery and jabs. “Kris Wu, I hear ye rolling yer eyes over the phone, I’m gon’ slap a dead fish in ye face later.”

“Alright, later mate, you can slap as many fish in my face as you want as long as you stay with me. I’ll be there in fifteen.” Kris disconnected the call and pocketed his phone, guiding his head into the open the helmet before noisily kickstarting his moped and speeding off.

* * *

Kyungsoo never called the city council and the car was still there the next morning, much to Kris’ dismay this time around since he was driving. Kyungsoo was kicking the car’s tires in annoyance. Kris took a photo of the car being rudely parked like that. But the addition of Kyungsoo with his hood in his face in his brightly yellow oilskin, flipping Kris off on the photo, one foot leaned against the tire he just kicked seconds ago, made a great new shot for his Instagram. “For the Gram and the clout,” Kris muttered under his breath, replacing the cigarette between his lips with his tongue for a moment. He called the city council.

* * *

The next morning, one of their co-workers picked them up and almost crashed his car into the wrongly parked car in annoyance. Instead, he parked his car right behind it since he had no other chance. Kyungsoo was the one to round the hood and check for a ticket. He held up a thumb, but the car was still there.

* * *

“There are rumours of a foreign, or at least American, film crew filming here in secret,” Bob mentioned when Kris and a few others’ were dividing fish they reeled in.

“A film crew?” Kris jolted in fright when the deep voice suddenly popped up behind him. Grasping at his coat, he cursed Kyungsoo under his breath who just patted his butt. The first mate wasn’t seen often off the bridge, being the captain’s favourite, which was much more of a curse than a blessing in disguise. Kyungsoo did the most on the bridge, despite him actually preferring standing outside in the pelting rain with the other fishermen, reeling in cages of fish. Bob shrugged his shoulders and Kyungsoo popped up at his side, helping his colleagues outside, “Did I mention that I have clearance today?” Kyungsoo pulled an annoyed face and silently sorted fish.

* * *

It was their day off when Kyungsoo decided to go for a long run, dragging Kris out of his bed by his foot. Kyungsoo had his hands jammed in the pockets of his running sweats and his face almost vanished behind the drawn together strings of his hoodie, glaring at the car in front of him. Kris noted that he looked a lot leaner than a couple of months ago but that he still looked good, “Hey, handsome.”

“Ha?” Kyungsoo let out a sound of acknowledgement but didn’t look at Kris.

“Let’s fuck the car up tomorrow,” Kris announced, and he was rewarded by a blinding smile that couldn’t be more mischievous.

* * *

Kyungsoo took a stance with two peace signs when he weirdly posed in front of the car. Kris was intelligent enough to leave out the fact that Kyungsoo had taken it on himself to place a barrel containing chains weighing up to half a tonne with the forklift in the most precise way just behind the trunk, because _‘the dead fish ain’t enough on the windshield, my dear Kris.’_ Two tickets and a dead fish on the windshield just showed how long the car had been there already.

“Hey, boys.” The oldest of their co-workers passed by them before coming to a stop, lifting a bushy grey eyebrow in accusation but didn’t comment on the occurrence further, “Jeremy mentioned something ‘bout some sissy film crew being in town? Don’t know why was s’pposed to tell ye.” He went on his way and Kyungsoo, too lazy to walk, let Kris climb onto the forklift, bringing them to where they would find the others.

“So, you’re telling me that some American-Chinese _film star,_ ” Kris air-quoted the profession because for a film geek like Kyungsoo and Jeremy to never have heard about him made him instantly fail, “Is on our turf and probably blocking our parking spot?”

“Look, it’s yer people,” Kyungsoo howled, shoving his phone into Kris’ face, the brightly illuminated screen showing some scrawny kid called Huang Zitao.

“I’m British with a hint of Scottish, thank you very much,” Kris rolled his eyes in annoyance, but he was used to Kyungsoo’s loud antics, otherwise he wouldn’t live together with him. They sat together with the other men in the pub, already on their third pitcher. “I’m gonna subtweet him.”

“You’re doing what?” Kyungsoo looked at him with confusion and suspicion. Well, it wasn’t Kris’ fault that he managed to get quite popular on Twitter and Instagram for some reason, but he was sure it had partly to do with Kyungsoo’s undeniable charm because his naughty antics couldn’t be transferred by images.

Kris rolled his eyes for the umpteenth time that day, “I’m going to try to get his attention with some just-above-the-belt jabs and try to figure out if he’s the asshole to park like a rude American. If the council can’t tell who the car belongs to...” Kyungsoo squinted at him in suspicion before lifting his pint to his lips but didn’t comment further on it.

* * *

Kyungsoo was lounging on the couch, naked feet on the coffee table while a movie was playing on the tv in front of him. Kris belated realised that it was his own phone in Kyungsoo’s hands, the device he had been looking for the past ten minutes. Shaking his head, he slumped down next to Kyungsoo on the couch, “What are you watching?”

“The weird kid’s movie. I forgot how corny and suffocating those Asian dramas are, but I’m having SLD. I’m rooting for the second lead because _hello_? The female lead and she would look much better together? By the way, he answered your tweet, but only after he saw a news article.” Kyungsoo didn’t lift his eyes from the phone in his hands and Kris leaned over, his arm sliding between the backrest and Kyungsoo’s back before he, for some reason, managed to settle comfortably at his side, “Lemme see.”

Zitao didn’t see the problem, not at all. He even dared upload the atrociousness of a video saying that they should be happy that he, quote— _'graced their city’_ with his _‘unparalleled beauty’—_ unquote. The city council was quick to accommodate to him because, yes, of course, he was a good advertisement. But like Jeremy mentioned, _‘no-one knows him in_ all _of Great Britain.’_ Kris uploaded the photo of Kyungsoo posing in front of the car, _“we're holding yer shitty car hostage, just sayin’_ 🤷♀️🐟”. Kris cracked his knuckles, all in for a Twitter war. He had nothing to lose anyway—except his friendship with Kyungsoo, who was looking pointedly up at him from where he was laying underneath Kris on the couch.

Usually, Kris and Kyungsoo always had the same shift, but not this time around. Kris had to leave early and Kyungsoo was left in the comfort of his blankets, breathing a sigh of relief once the other left.

* * *

Zitao had uploaded a photo of his car framed by the barrel and the dead fish and he was seething. Kyungsoo only snorted without much facial expression and he was sure Kris did the same. Shortly after, Tao went live on his Instagram and Kyungsoo and a few of his colleagues crowded around his small frame and peered down on his phone while they stood at the quay. The actor was fuming and Kyungsoo’s eyes were flicking over the screen with the comments. Of course, most of his fans were on his side and supported him, but some tried to reason that he was parking his car illegally. He furrowed his brow in disgust. If he was an animal, his ears might have flicked from the unpleasant screeching he was listening to, twice. He just had to look up and see the actor in front of his car.

He lifted his hand in greeting when he saw Kris approaching from the other side, his scowl being unmistakably there. Kyungsoo walked over to where their car was parked and stood with his arms crossed, waiting for the actor to acknowledge him, but he only saw him briefly staring at Kris when he passed by him. Something akin to confusion flashed over his face before it returned to a frown. Kris leaned against the hood of the car, next to Kyungsoo, crossing his arms before his chest. He was chewing noisily on his gum, “He’s even worse in the flesh.”

“You don’t say,” Kyungsoo mumbled and shifted his weight on his legs, his arms in a similar fashion to Kris with a cigarette nestled between his fingers, his phone resting in the curve of his elbow on the other side. “So, who’s going to burst his bubble?”

Kris looked down on him, leaning into his personal space, “He didn’t recognise you yet? I mean, the photos are only with you.” He only received a shake in response.

“He didn’t even look at me so far, he only had eyes for you.” The smaller fisherman shrugged his shoulders and pulled an entertaining pout.

“Jealous?” Kris chuckled at him, sending him a gummy smile before redirecting his eyes back to the figure still throwing threats about his predicament and being generally annoying and unlikeable. “Hey, panda, are you going to finally get rid of your car on our parking spot?”

The actor jolted in shock, almost dropping his phone in the progress. Kyungsoo cackled while seeing his ugly grimace lightning up in shock twice, on his phone and in real life.

“Are you the assholes that obstructed my car?” he hissed, his Instagram Live still going. Kyungsoo turned off the Live he was watching and pocketed his phone, cigarette between his lips. He jammed his hands into his coat pockets and whipped up and down on his heels while waiting. Kris, next to him, straightened his posture, both of his hands also in his pockets, shifting on his legs. “Language, kid, I think you see yourself more as a role model according to your Instagram and Twitter, ain’t that right?” Kris drawled out the syllables, a wicked smile on his otherwise stoic face.

“And what did you call me?” The actor was balling his fists and Kyungsoo couldn’t help himself snorting, much to Kris’ euphoria. It’s been some time since both had a good dispute.

“Kid or panda? If you’re unhappy with the offered options we can go more condescending,” Kyungsoo offered and the actor seemed to be taken away by the deepness of his voice. Even with a slight moustache, he didn’t look his age. “And someone ignoring tickets and signs, well, let’s say, you don’t deserve our respect at all, _kid_.”

“Aren’t you the one who touched my car and posed with it?” Zitao gritted out.

“He took the photos, it’s his profile. He subtweeted you,” Kyungsoo threw a thumb towards Kris who just shrugged noncommittally. “A—nd we didn’t touch the car with our hands, you won’t find fingerprints on it.” He drawled out the A for sarcasm.

“Get your car off our property or we can’t promise anything, Huang Zitao,” Kris threatened before turning back around, strutting towards the quay before abruptly turning around and flouncing back to the two men left at the parking lot. He towered over Kyungsoo and saw the actor raking his eyes not so discreetly up and down his frame. Without any words, he grabbed Kyungsoo’s hand and turned the palm upside down, discarding his keys in the open palm, “Pick me up?” Kyungsoo only nodded and left in the opposite direction, climbing on Kris’ moped that suited his height way better than Kris’ long limbs.

Once Kyungsoo was out of view, Kris turned around, throwing the actor a motion of watching him. “You look good. Are you available? And ever thought about doing something better than fishing? Something real?” Kris stopped dead in his tracks and turned his head towards the actor that insulted him unknowingly, or not. Zitao stepped up to him and was on eye-level with Kris. The latter wanted nothing more than wipe that smug grin of the other’s face with a clean fist.

“Repeat that,” Kris hissed, fist clenching in his coat pockets.

“What part? If you’re available or about a new job? You already stated very clearly in your bios your sexuality after all.” The smile was supposed to be sultry and Kris felt his eyebrow twitch. The actor wasn’t even his style. And with someone insulting his profession like this?

“You should watch your back, Huang, going around and insulting people’s jobs like that..” He turned back around and left a little too hurriedly.

* * *

Kris sat with crossed arms and a massive pout on his couch, Kyungsoo ushering around him, cleaning the living room. If he could, he would’ve set his phone on fire or tossed it into the sea, when he saw that the Huang kid followed him on his social media and posted something along the lines of _‘he’s cute, i’ll catch and snack him y’all_ 😴’ on his Twitter.

“Stop sulking,” was the only warning Kris received before a wet rag collided with his face. He stared incredulously at Kyungsoo who acted nonchalantly like he hadn’t just whacked Kris with it. “I didn’t peg you for someone that would be so childishly irritated and attacked about someone ten years younger. And why don’t you play the kid’s game to humour me? And yourself? I know you long enough to know that you’re an incorrigible asshole.”

“Rude much?”

“Just honest to a fault.”

Kris wasn’t sure, but it sounded like Kyungsoo was quoting and imitating Snoop Dogg’s ‘ _drop it like it’s hot’_ under his breath while he was shuffling away.

> **Kris Wu** @galaxyfanfan  
>  Reply to @hztttao____  
>  I’d say ye mean me coworker but given that ye talkd to me? 🤔
> 
> **King Tao** 👑👑👑 @ztaoswaifu88  
>  Reply to @galaxyfanfan @hztttao____  
>  y would some1 be intrested in u did u look at urself jelly much huh????? our king has tatse n that aint u 🙄🙄🤮
> 
> **Kris Wu** @galaxyfanfan  
>  Reply to @ztaoswaifu88 @hztttao____  
>  Orthography? Punctation? Ever heard of them? And excuse ye, me mate is pretty much cute. 🙄 #commassavelives

“Fuck you, Kris, I’ll move out.” Kyungsoo’s words held no bite. Kris looked up quickly enough to see Kyungsoo rolling his eyes from where he sat on the kitchen counter, his smartphone in hand.

* * *

Kyungsoo jammed his fists at his sides and stood before the car, two rotting dead fish dangling from one hand, “He can be happy the weather is pretty much shite these days and the fish don’t smell as much.” Kris was trying to light his cigarette next to him—emphasis on trying—since it was still raining. Kris knew Kyungsoo long enough to be aware that he was overly polite and accommodating to a fault, liked to throw some light and violent punches, but piss him off and you’re dead meat. And he knew that Kyungsoo’s baseball training paid off was about to be demonstrated. He flung one of the fish with so much force, that it almost exploded and the second one followed shortly after; the windshield looked like a mess. Kris was still amazed the alarm didn’t go off.

“Oh no, who’d do something like this?” Kris jolted upon Kyungsoo’s sudden change in mood and barely registered the mock facial expression of disgust on his face. “I’m sorry, kid, I know what it looks like, but guess the little rascals struck again and yer car was the victim. Ye should be happy it’s raining.” Kris nodded along to Kyungsoo’s words, a troubled expression on his face.

“Why would they do that?” Zitao took the bait and Kris repressed a groan bubbling up in his throat.

“Ye’re the talk o’town, kid, and the kids love fecking people over, just sayin’.” Kyungsoo shrugged his shoulders and patted the actor’s shoulder in consolation before turning around and rolling his eyes at Kris. And he was pretty sure he heard Kyungsoo mumbling something that sounded suspiciously like _‘cunt’_ under his breath.

“Can you get rid of the barrel, y’all?” Zitao asked in a serious tone and Kris saw playfulness around the edges of his eyes when the actor looked directly at him and winked, fucking winked! Kris registered himself mumbling _‘cunt, right in front of my man’_ under his breath.

“What did you say, didn’t catch that.” Zitao smiled sweetly at him.

Kyungsoo and Kris both shot back a _‘no’_ at the actor. Kyungsoo downright glared at him, even with glasses, and flexed his arm. “And I appreciate if ye stop trying to flirt with Kris, it makes my eyes and ears bleed.”

* * *

“Kyungsoo was pretty harsh yesterday,” Kris nodded while pulling an impressed expression.

“Ye didn’t tell the kid ye’re in a relationship, did ye?” His co-worker asked while they were on deck, taking a break.

“Oh, fecking shite. I remember asking him, but he insulted our job and that must’ve put me so on edge, I didn’t answer.” Kris was crestfallen and dropped his face in his hands. “Shite, Kyungsoo is going to filet me.”

“Just gives me a reason to fuck that kid over,” Kyungsoo suddenly appeared next to Kris. The latter jumped in fright and cowered behind his colleague, feeling very queasy. “Kris, calm your horses, as long as y’know that you’re together with me. And you didn’t answer him at all, and no answer is an answer as well. Just doesn’t mean that no answer means yes, that’s just stupid, it just doesn’t have to interest him since it doesn’t concern him.” Jeremy appeared next to him and nodded his head, “You could’ve said that way less complicated, but I think he got the message.”

Kyungsoo furrowed his eyebrows, “I hope he does, otherwise I wouldn’t be so sure why I’m still together with him after all those years.”

It hadn’t been easy with all the homophobia hurled their way when they first started out in the company as fishermen, but Kris and Kyungsoo had been together before that. Kyungsoo had moved to their city twelve years prior after fleeing from his parents who thought they only had the best interest for him and even tried to set up an arranged marriage in England with a girl that could only speak Korean. And he was supposed to move to Korea because _‘the job prospects are better in Korea and with your business degree it’s easy to find a good job.’_ Also, they couldn’t accept their son was gay since Day One. Kyungsoo had started training as a fisherman the moment he finished his bachelor behind his parent’s back because he wanted to fish big time. Maybe he was influenced by his neighbour at the time who worked as a fisherman and took who him along on the boat to work when he had time.

Kris grew up in a household full of fishermen and his grandma and mother sold fresh fish on the market. Kris was being bullied a lot, children telling him that he reeked of dead fish and all that jazz. It hurt him, but he still wanted to pursue the career path his parents had because he loved what he was doing. And maybe there was a boy on the ship every few months that came together with the old Isaac and who seemed to be so interested in fishing and never treated Kris with anything less than pure interest and respect.

That was until Kyungsoo introduced himself in the neighbourhood Kris lived in and the latter almost jumped in delight when they both recognised each other. That was two years before Kyungsoo applied at Kris’ company.

* * *

“It’s what, almost two weeks now? Two weeks where _yer shitty car_ is blocking _our precious and specificly reserved parking spot?_ Do ye even use that shite panda brain of yours, kid?” Kyungsoo had corned the actor against his car, stabbing his index finger against his chest. “I’m fecking livid that your shite car is _still_ blocking us and making our lives unnecessary complicated because yer stuck-up and ignorant ass thinks he’s better than some fishermen. Ye prolly didn’t work one day manual labour since you were cast right off the street!” Kris winced when he saw the terrified expression on the boy’s face who cowered with every insult thrown at him. “Get your car outta here or _I’m_ getting rid of it.”

“Can, can you at least move the barrel?” Zitao’s voice was barely audible but Kyungsoo was close enough to hear it.

“No.” To be honest, Kyungsoo was pretty hot when he was riled up, irritated and verbally fought his fights.

“I’m sorry, Mr Doh, but I guess my manoeuvring is pretty lacking,” Zitao hung his head in shame and Kris felt for him. Out of the two, Kyungsoo was not only the better mate but also the better car driver. He lifted an eyebrow when Kyungsoo held his palm towards the kid and made a motion of beckoning something in his hand, “Keys, now.” Zitao fumbled in sudden shock with his bag. With shaky hands, he searched his car keys before dropping them in the open palm. Kris was curious as to why Zitao was suddenly so accommodating and gave his keys to Kyungsoo. The actor might’ve hoped that Kyungsoo wasn’t able to get the car out safely. His misfortune, Kris thought to himself and snickered lowly from where he was watching.

Yes, his partner was pretty hot like this… Kris shook his head and rested his chin in his palm. He might’ve fallen all over again for Kyungsoo. Zitao, on the other hand, was pretty much aghast when Kyungsoo manoeuvred the car smoothly out of the deadlock of barrel and sign. He barely caught his keys when Kyungsoo stepped out the car and hurled them at the actor, “Now move along and stop harassing my fiancé before I throw hands, kid.” Kris lifted an eyebrow again when the actor scurried away after apologising to everyone, “So, we’re engaged now? Did I miss something?”

“Shut up, or you’re sleeping with the fish tonight.”

“I love you too, Kyungsoo.”

* * *

A year later, both Kris and Kyungsoo, as well as the rest of the crew, received invitations for a movie premiere by no other than Huang Zitao who played a sailor as the main role, much to Kyungsoo’s dismay.


End file.
